Your still small voice






Let me just tell you that growing up can be kinda nerve racking, scary and intimating. I mean, if you are really honest with yourself, you know what I mean. It can be daunting to grow up. My life has been a series of various seasons. At first, I thought these seasons where for me to experience new things and go new places. That was when I realized that in addition to new friends, life experiences and thrilling places, that seasons are tools that God uses to change my heart.

College

College was this amazing season of growth and developing friends and learning. It was also a season filled with anxiety about choosing the right lifelong career, mate, education. No pressure, right? Wrong! Feeling slightly unprepared to make all these big discussions, I prayed. I asked God specially for things that I wanted. For example, "Lord, help me make at least ______ dollars". The number changed often so it wasn't fair to put only one number in. Anyway, you get my point, I prayed for specific things. To end your anticipation, no, I didn't get all the things I prayed for, not specifically, but I got better things. I didn't end up marrying Mr. Life of the Party but God did introduce me to the Mr. Man of my dreams (I just didn't know what I really wanted at the time). No, I didn't get that degree that would help me live in a condo by the beach. Instead, God let lead me to the degree which would help me later in life with my friendships, my family, and my life. It was in this season that I learned that God says no because He knows whats best for my life even if it is the harder route.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.

Newly Married

So there we were Mr & Mrs. without a clue. We had recently moved from everything we loved and held dear to a new state where *cue the orchestra* we didn't know a single soul. Ahhh....what a beginning <------sarcasm. There was a honeymoon phase of the move where it was exciting and thrilling, but that wore off real fast when I got lost in the prairie with no GPS signal. Imagine this: On the phone with Mr. Snail. "Where are you?" "I don't know. I want to go home.""What do your surrounding look like?" I'm in a wheat field and there is a cow to my right". "What's the street address?" "Umm....there's no street sign in the middle of the prairie!" {insert frantic crying}. So there we are lost in the middle of nowhere with no friends or family. During this time my prayers became moments of silence before the Lord. This is the verse I clung:
Romans 8:26-28 

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
This is the season that I learned to rely on God alone for EVERYTHING in my life.

Currently: 

 A season can last a month, two months or even years. Currently, this is our longest season yet. The best way to describe it is I've felt like my faith is in a UFC fight.  I can see myself fist pumping and shouting "Get in there and show them what you got!". Then there are moments where I agonizingly beg the referee for a time out. I shout "Can't you see her faith can't take any more!", tears running down my face and anger in my voice. My faith and I lock eyes and see my faith signal for another round. "No!" I scream. "You don't understand, it's too much. Your not strong enough. There will be nothing left if you don't stop now!"

That's when I feel that still small voice that says: Trust me even when it hurts and you don't understand.



2 Corinthians 12:7


 Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Currently: I'm learning that faith doesn't break it grows stronger.



3 comments:

Mrs.Burt said...

I love this blog! Thank you for sharing and lifting spririt with scripture! You are an Awesome person!

~Brae <3

P.S. the "no GPS signal" must have been frustratin considering Mr. Snail's knowledge of them. :)

Candias said...

Thanks so much Laura for sharing from the heart. It is an encouragment when you open up, share your struggles and your dreams, admitting that life is not perfect by our human standards, but showing us how you choose to continue trusting God even in the toughest times. I am praying for you in this phase...that you will be encouraged and that God will help you to keep focusing on all the blessings that he has given to you. Love ya Laura and I am blessed to have you as a sister-in-Christ.

Laura said...

Mrs. Burt: You had me and Mr. Snail busting up on your "P.S Comment". He wanted me to assure you that he was only learning GPS at the time. :)

Candias: I won't try to act like I wasn't crying during this post. I'm glad God used it to encourage you.

Thanks for the comments girls it is super encouraging to me. It's hard when I post stuff so personal and it is such a blessing that God is using it for his glory. Woot!