Stitched: The Art of Fighting Fair


"You left the cap off the toothpaste again! Seriously!"

Stop right there. Rewind. If I say the word "seriously" then you know that "seriously" I am toasted. You may laugh at the toothpaste argument but at that time it was as serious as the Cuban Missal crisis. I have found that it is these silly little (don't really matter) issues that cause quite a stir.

Understanding differences
 Mr. Snail and I have different ways of handling disagreements.  Mr. Snail is a deep thinker so when he's angry he's very quiet. He needs to be left alone to think and process what's being discussed and how to resolve it. When I am angry, well I'm not so quite. I'm a talker and I will keep  explaining and explaining.  I have good intentions...to get my point across again and again and again. Think *blah blah blah*. Am I explaining too much? LOL

That's my BFF (Best Friend Forever)

Through the years we find that by holding hands when we argue it reminds us that we are in this together. We are still going to be best friends after this so we should remember to act that way we disagree. I also like to ask myself "Would I treat my other friends this way?". I try not to answer that with "well...no. We are smart enough not to share toothpaste!" 

Listen. Non-Optional

I'm not going to go all Dr. Laura on you but I have found that listening is the best way to communicate love during an disagreement. Listening like making eye contact. Not interrupting the other person. Not thinking about what I am going to say in my defense but really trying to concentrate on what is being said. This is the hardest one for me. I am always thinking of what I am going to say next. 

Saying sorry is for the brave. 
When you are wrong, just admit it. It's hard, and it sucks. I don't really like to be wrong. Who does? But alas, I'm not always right (did that shock you?). I've learned that saying sorry takes guts. It's a very humbling thing to do. If you really care about someone you will say you are sorry. 

Love has no track record

When you forgive someone. Let it go. Like try to not thing about it anymore (easy right? wrong.). Don't be like me and say in the most educated voice you can muster "Well according to my calculations, last week you did the same thing. I feel like I keep repeating myself? Are you listening to me?" Nope. Don't be like me. Be better. Learn to forgive in a way that allows grace to cover the person you love. The cool thing about grace is that its something you don't deserve, yet you can have it. Amazing Grace! That was an intentional pun.


When all else fails Rock, Paper Scissors to decide who is right. Best out of three. 
I'm kidding.Sorta.




No comments: